A breath of fresh air...

So yesterday was my birthday.
Its not a good idea to accommodate people all the time. You end up never knowing what you really want. Yesterday? I had no clue.
That is, not until the end.
There was a storm toward the evening, and I stepped outside into the dark, turned my face up to the heavens, and sang out everything in my life that I wanted.
Do I expect it to happen? Maybe not, but it can't hurt to put it out there to the powers that be.
Sometimes it is good to pour your heart out to the wind. I imagine her as a mother, with a sweet smile as she nods, listening to your deepest secrets, weeping when you are sad, and holding you. To be held.. -sigh-
Anyhow, what with crunch weeks taking up my time, I've found little time to write. I hope though that I will be able to pick up once this last week is over. Next week will just be tests. I find them allot less challenging than the papers and speeches.
So anyway, back to what I want. Great mother, is it really so much to ask to find my soul mate? Would it be terribly much to have a small house of my own, with a yard big enough that I can plant to my heart's content? Then, could I, just a little bit, write some amazing stories?
-more sighs-
I wont go to specifics, but it was an enlightening experience, understanding myself. What is it you truly want? Take aside what people tell you that you need and chuck it, just think about what you truly desire. I think you might be surprised, then maybe not. :)

"Somewhere, out there, beneath the pale moon light. Someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight." -An American Tale..

Priorities and emotional ties.

So.. gearing up your priorities to sit down and write isn't the easiest thing in the world. I suppose this is why they tell you to just keep plunking the keys, write something anything, with any time you have. Between college work, family, and people I care about, time becomes a treasured thing I greedily snag up from myself between bouts of gloomy depression for lack of inspiration.
However, I am going to give myself a little pat on the back thus far from not completely losing the rest of my marbles. In exchange I have made a promise to myself to 'try harder'.
I guess you hit a certain age, and you realize that life didn't pan out the way you thought it would when you were a teenager, so you find yourself grasping for lifelines, hoping to understand the secret code behind your successes and lack there of.
Truth is, we're just dust specks on this planet with the distinct knowledge that the end is nigh. It is both depressing and wonderfully exciting. Get a career, find true love, make babies, or not, grow old with the love of your life, make many achievements, and die. A perfectly good, perfectly epic ideal life that most people wont live up to.
In the end all you have is now. You can dream for the future, but don't lose sight of that fact. Trials and tribulations streak their way through your life like the red in candy canes. You'll have good days, you'll have bad days. You'll meet people that will take you somewhere, and then you'll meet those that will hold you back and or break your heart. It is an experience, custom made for you.
Enjoy.

(The dreamer)

Writing Fantasy

Heres the thing about writing fantasy. There is so much possible that one can get carried away trying to get in all that beautiful, glorious detail.
Huzzah!
I get so flabbergasted some times. SO many emotions I want to convey, while at the same time contributing to the back story to make the reader's experience more real, without becomming monotone.
I keep plunking the keys, pray I can make some sense!
Now, to research what it takes to survive in the desert..

Allyoop!

Personal appearances.

I thought since I have a bit of time at the moment (not really), I'd take the moment to write about something personal. Not too personal, since this IS the web, but personal enough.
I am contemplating breast reduction surgery. It isn't solely because I feel bad about my appearance, I am certainly no small fry mind you. The reason I wish to do this is because I am quite young, to most standards, I am 26, however I get shoulder and back pain, and I am increasingly imbalanced when I work out, because my just shy of five foot three inch body is weighed down by size 40DD breasts.
Rumor has it that I and miss Dolly Parton have the same size. Can you imagine? She's shorter than me and I have no idea how she manages! She's also a heck a skinnier. -_- -koff- Meanwhile, I am considering something called a 'lazer bra' surgery.While the surgery is going on they can also give me a quick reduction. I am thinking of just shrinking back to a d cup or a full c.
Those with questions can go here:
http://www.laserbra.com/laser-bra/faq.cfm

This surgery seems a bit better than the usual reduction surgeries, for one, the nipple is not grafted, so the nipple remains attached to those lovely nerve endings, and I can keep nipple sensitivity. (A must for me.) The lazer bra also keeps the breasts firm and lifted longer, can we say, hot fifty year old? -smirk-
I have just recently begun school, and am on the verge of getting my life back, so of course this surgery if I want it done right is going to cost a good penny that I don't have, so I thought to save up for it. Perhaps in a few years? It would be a great 30th birthday present. That would be four years from now. (Hopefully, if the recession doesn't devastate the middle class completely.)
Anyhow, my serious contemplation has led me to take stock in my life goals and to contemplate my self image. What is beautiful? I write romances involving what I consider to be beautiful people, and I hope future readers can agree with that. However, truly, if you are out looking for your soul mate you should really, really consider your priorities. Does he/she HAVE to have perfect flat abs? Do you? Would you wish to be loved for your smokin body or for the beauty that is your own individual soul? Do you go to the gym often? If you do go, then why are you doing it? Remember, true love, that truly lasts long has everything to do with compatibility, and the couple's ability to communicate. Sex, looks, these are just attractions we have, they are animalistic, and vary so much that it would be a travesty to base our lives on them. Who is going to hold you when you are old, wrinkly, and close to the end? Likely not some hot twenty something. Please world, for your own good, LOOK PAST THE 3D imaging!
That being said I have just one more thing to add.
The above is a picture of myself, and I have never considered myself gorgeous. I've been told by others I am 'pretty', I've even been told I'd make a good model. However, I consider myself to be self conscious and leery of my looks. It isn't a good thing,so I am working on it. For you, the reader I'd like to say,don't let people decide whether you are pretty, attractive, or intelligent. Decide for yourself who you are, and do your best to be just that. In the end, unless you are blind or go blind, you will have to look at yourself for the rest of your life, you might as well accept and preferably, love what you see.
I wish you luck.
(Orhea, the dreamer)

Ah, vital blow to the brain!

I am speaking of course, about paper writing. It kills my inspiration! However, I am keeping writing, even if it is only a snippet at a time.
I must surely be dreaming...
LOL as per usual.
Anyhow, want a snippet from Saturday's communications class speech? I wrote about Louisa May Alcott, the writer of Little Women.

“I want to do something splendid, something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead.” This quote comes from Jo March, a fictional character in the book “Little Women” Written by Louisa May Alcott. Growing up Jo March was a heroine of mine. She was outspoken, gutsy, and pursued her dreams with a passion. Many people were and continue to be moved, by the book, “Little Women”.

That was my introduction. Now here is my confession. I HATE being forced to write to a template! It's like being told to paint a picture, but only according to a set of rules. What is the fun in that? Public speaking was terrible, and now I have to write my final speech for the semester, also my final English paper, as well as get ready for the math. (My worst subject) All in this, finding time to make jewelry, and to write, is really hard.
This truly is a labor of love.

Off too class, have a blessed eve!

Trying to keep up!

So I did a good job. I wrote a bit on 'Runaway Priestess" I've also written some more 'The Frog Becomes a Prince?'. Still, I need to practice a speech and work on math, as well as fix up my English paper. -_-
Oh, and the other day I made some rings. I got a commission for stitch markers. Stitch markers are used to mark stitches when knitting.
Well, I don't sound half as intelligent as I ought to, however you should give me a break because I'm dead tired...