A writing exercise

"Can you see it?"
Her words brush across the back of my neck. I felt her arm snake around my waist. Her thumb brushed against my navel. I wasn't wearing a shirt and neither was she. I put my nose against the chilly glass of the window and focus on what is in front of me.
"Oh" I respond when I see it. "Oh how cute!"
She chuckles softly, places a soft kiss at my hairline. I shiver with the resulting goosebumps.
"It's just a squirrel." Her  other hand finds itself on my hip. I feel the cotton of her underwear brush against my butt.
"Look at him go." I say, even as her thumb begins a feather like stroke over my lower belly. I feel her nuzzling her nose into my hair and we sway. The nut brown squirrel pauses and his tail twitches once... twice. His big black eyes surveying the barren winter landscape for potential danger. He seems to decide it's safe and he darts along the grass. He stands at the base of a tree now and begins to dig. I close my eyes as she presses her lip just under my ear.
"You hungry?" She whispers, and kisses the side of my neck.
"Mmhmm... I could eat a stack of pancakes." 
Another raspy chuckle and her hand moves from my hip to just below my breast. The thumb on that hand brushes the curve of my left breast, sending a delightful tremor low in my belly.
"I was thinking about having something else on the menu."
I lick my lips. An answering pulse begins between my thighs and I take a breath, letting it out  with a tremble. "You are such a lecher"
"Just watch the squirrel" There is a ring of amusement in her voice, her thumb ceases brushing my navel and instead moves lower, brushing just above the rim of my underwear.  We stand here like that. I have no words. One thumb continues to brush under my right breast while the other thumb runs the rim of my underwear. It is deliberate and rhythmic.
With each sensual graze the temperature seems to rise.  I try to focus on the squirrel. His tail flicks and he darts over to a scraggly bush. He begins to dig just as she kissed my shoulder.  The kisses don't stop, they work their way up to just below my ear.
The stroking of thumbs.. the feathery lips... the twitching of a chubby squirrel's tail. My heart races in my chest now. I can hear the ticking of the wall clock downstairs. We sway again and the hand under my breast shifts up. It brushes over my nipple. I take in a lung full of air, hold it, and then release it with a shuddering of shoulders. 
Her grip on me hardens, and my back is treated to the softness of her breasts nestled against them. I know better than to speak. She gets joy from this sensual exploration. This deliberate torture.
My nipple hardens under her touch and a fresh burst of arousal sends my knees trembling. She shifts that hand mercilessly teasing the rim of m underwear upward and now she has the full weight of my breasts in either hand. I almost sigh with the exquisiteness such an action evokes. The startling sensation of millions of receptors responding to the tiniest stimulation. This time I am pressing against her... I lift my hands up to hold hers there.
"Uh uh... watch the squirrel."
I grunt my frustration and place my fists to either side of my hips. She does not laugh but I feel the amusement from her lips, which are pressed against the back of my neck. Involuntarily my knees drift a little more apart.
The squirrel dives under the bush, only to return seconds later. He lifts up an acorn. His tiny hands turn it over and over.
She kneads my breasts, then slides a single hand over my stomach, torturously slow. 
"Honey... " I say huskily. "this is so wrong..."
She tugs one end of my underwear down with her hand. Her pointer finger slides along the seam where my thigh joins my hip, then slowly across to nestle right where I want her. I suck my teeth. I  can't move. If I thrust my hips forward she'd touch my throbbing clit. Yet if I did that she'd  make me wait more. This is a game we play. A test of endurance. If I win I get a pay off. If she wins...
We sway again and she's tugging the other side of my panties.  They stop  low on my thighs. Her hands move to my hips and rest there.
I respond with a whimper.
The squirrel looks around, puts the nut in his mouth, and makes a dash across the street. He disappears behind a fence.
I can hear her breathing. Thumbs circling my hips. I can feel her pressed against me still.
I hold my breath. I am pulsing. My blood rushes in my ears. I am heavy with need I can feel it... but I must stay still. I must win. The clock seems louder but the silence between us is profound.
She presses a kiss against my shoulder. Her hands drop from my hips.
Everything becomes suspended. I am waiting now. Though I don't know how much longer I can hold out.
"Turn around" she says huskily.

Finals are almost done!

The thing about writing is.. I am constantly compelled to do it. The problem is that I am also trying to finish up my college education...
Mostly..
Mostly I write so many papers about things I don't really care about, and it kind of gets in the way of my creativity. Sometimes all I manage is poetry.
My tendency, my desire, my will, is to represent areas that I feel are not fully represented mainstream in literature.
I tend to see more opposite ends of the spectrum. Novels based off all black women.. or novels based off all white.. Where are the mixed folk?
I read an interesting statistic in one of my text books. In the book they had a pie chart on children and their ethnic backgrounds.. up until the 80s, when I was born, there was NO representation of people with multiracial background, even though there were likely plenty! Today, it is expected that multiracial children represent somewhere around 32 percent of the population.. this will only increase over the next decades.
This post is random, and yet it's what is on my mind now.. How do I make it happen?
Well.. I just keep writing..

Anyway more writings to come in a couple weeks! Just have to get through this last finals week.

This is why this blog is R-rated

I can still imagine your skin....
dusky, with a hint of copper
I trace the lines of strength
from wrist to elbow
on each arm
I can taste you
if I close my eyes
light, unassuming, with a tinge of coffee on your tongue
and when your kisses deepen and my body tenses
I can feel your fingers drawing patterns
on my back
sliding delicately, but with great precision
down my thighs..
over my hips..
delving between  my swollen lips
probing.. finding me
Your mouth, hot and tight
how it envelopes each nipple
with care..
I rock my body against you
into you..
around you..
I breathe in that cologne you wear
with watery notes
I drown..
Your breasts slide down my belly
Your eyes devouring, your mouth searching
Until they find the waiting wetness
the aching river that belongs to you
I groan, I moan.. make animal noises in my throat..
Wildly gripping my fingers into your hair
thick.. dark.. perfect handles
perfect for holding on to
while I follow the lyrics of your tongue
singing me into oblivion...

Special interest

So I am excited that "Wicked Things" Is on the way and that I have made some headway in "Thraxia" It is definitely coming along! If only I can find one good, solid weekend to flesh some things out! It's going to happen, most definately.
Anyway... I know I have stated various times that there is not enough representation of women of color in lesbian literature. So imagine how tickled pink I was when I found a little gem entitled "Tangled Roots" by Marianne K. Martin!
Thanks Marianne! Apparently the plot centers around the love affair between an African American daughter of farmers and a white daughter of a plantation owner (historical yay!) I believe it hasn't released quite yet but I anticipate it. I do hope Ms Martin creates a substantial story! It definately sounds like it from the blurb, which can be found at bywaterbooks.com
Finally! I am starting to see some light here!

Hope prevails...
-Orhea

As surely as I breathe

It seems like most days, I keep reminding myself what it is I am doing.
Writing helps because it solidifies that large space in my mind that doesn't recieve stimulation.  This place no one can touch.  This is random but, I've attempted to write one of those marvelous poems like they do in poetry slams? The only issue is I don't think I am capable!
My poetry sometimes rhymes in places and sometimes doesn't and it tends to play with word meanings as well as sound to inspire a sort of feeling. I am a word genie, not a lyricist.  Ha, so anyway, here is my poorly written poetry.

                                                   Mixed Girl Thoughts
My nose is round.
Not just round like a little button, it's round like an orange.
Or maybe a cherry tomato...
The point is this
It doesn't quite fit my face, does it?
But I'm not trying to down myself
I've got enough self esteem to say
I don't look half bad...
Anyway my nose is round, I have freckles, I'm yellow, and my hair has about three different textures.
I am multi racial.
It's funny because when I was little, the only ones like me were my siblings.
But now, we're everywhere.
I can't help but to see that single raced mom, pushing her bi racial child in a stroller and think...
That kid has some crazy hair!
Bur other things pass through my mind too.
Like is the world really ready for this?
Am I ready?
Will these kids grow up not knowing who they are?
Or maybe they'll grow up having one view pushed upon them.
Will they dissociate from one race in favor of another and is this right?
Well, is it?
Whatever they say about themselves I hope they are confident.
I hope they see their round noses like blessings.
Their crazy hair like wings...
I hope they look in the mirror and don't see..
A jigsaw puzzle.
A missmash of ideas that don't meld proportionately.
I hope they look in the mirror and see, a smoothly blended, seamless person.
I hope they are confident.

Taste my words

Hello all... here is a very short sample skit... It's a mini writing exercise I give myself to get juices flowing (no pun intended) usual restrictions apply.





Sweet obsession...
I make no lies. I am obsessed with her feet.
She has those long, ridiculous toes that are kind of like fingers.
Ha, I know I tease her all the time about it. She just laughs and punches my arm lightly and tells me to stop 'bugging'.
Mm... I love her smile. Her lips are...so juicy, and she never smiles so much that her teeth shows.. Instead her lips quirk just a bit, her nostrils flare.. oh she has the cutest nose. Just like a button.
She says I obsess to much. I think too much. You see? All these nagging, tiny details that seem to most just.. trivial.. most people just live their lives but I don't. I grab the biggest fucking spoon and I eat it, like a bowl of triple nut fudge ice cream. I love food, the pleasure of sight, smell, taste. I love walking on a hot day, sweat trickling between my breasts and thighs.. I love the smell, the feel of rain, of being wet... and I don't just mean water.
Which brings me to another thing.
I love sex... more importantly, I love sex with her. It's like, a beautiful song.. Like a movie, and I am not just fucking with you. You can't possible know it's just...just like the ice cream thing. I love the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her skin, and when she touches me...
Oh when she touches me!
My knees buckle, my breath is short, my heart races and spirals into everything. I love the way she moans for me. I love the way our bodies slide, slick with sweat.. and how her hot mouth feels when she sucks my nipple into her glorious mouth.
God I love her mouth. Mmm mmm mmmm

Just a few words

Rest in peace Robin Williams. You gave the world memories. Good ones. I think one of my favorite movies he ever starred in was "Hook". He had this warm sparkle to his eyes that were open and child like...
I am amazed that he suffered from depression. This only goes to show that depression is a real ailment, and that many people are dealing with it and don't know what to do.
Please reference my other blog, "Waking up". It is for my other mission in life, that is to help others by sharing poems and words of wisdom.
Love is the only way... remember that. You have it in you, you have it all around you. Draw on it, and become strong and whole.

Something I am working on

Today was good. 

I got my exercise in, cleaned my chicken coup, got a fresh egg from one of my hens, and...watched a very interesting movie. I was inspired to write a little, and I hope to write more every day, other than poetry. So here it goes, a little scene... what do you think, would it make a good story? It's full of typos, yet good to get out of my crowded head. Live, love....

“You have completely lost your mind! I am not jumping.” I crossed my arms over my ample chest, and moved very purposefully towards the safety of the car.

Then I heard a whistle, and PLOP.

I squeaked at the wet shorts that smacked me on the back of my head. Then I turned around. “That was low!”

Tory, golden hair now wet and matted to her face just laughed and swam away from me. I stood there, watching her, the way she gracefully moved through the water, so comfortable with her lithe, athletic body,  so… at ease with who she was.

We were worlds apart, Tory and I….I grew up in East Clifton, with my mother and four sisters. I was the different one though... I was the light skinned one... The white girl... They called me that even though they weren’t much darker than me. They told me I talked funny; they made fun of me for everything I did…

All my life I was put down for anything I tried or discouraged from anything I was interested in. Yet it was ME that got me out of the ghetto; No one else. On the opposite end of that spectrum was Tory, she was a military brat, daughter of an ex-marine, high school swimming champion, college graduate and I….

I had just gotten myself at that point.

“You just going to stand there gawking are you? Or are you going to get in the water?”

I moved to the edge of the bank once more. We were at a little creek just outside of town called Caddo. The water looked murky, and the sky was darkening into a soft twilight. I looked down dubiously, feeling every inch the city girl, even though I did love the country. That is why I attended university out in the middle of nowhere… Well that and the very low tuition rates. “There is likely so much bacteria in that water”

Tory rolled her eyes and swam toward me, pausing to look me square in the eyes. Hers were hazel, to the point where you couldn’t tell if they were green or blue…. Her nose was a little long for her face, yet her lips were shapely, and she had this girl next door kind of cuteness… “and there is tons of bacteria living inside your intestines… It’s natural… Honestly Kierra. You were the one that said you wanted to start trying new things.. To not hold yourself vack.”

I stared at her… grudgingly I admitted that she was right. I chewed my lip. “Turn around” I said as I leaned down to untie my shoes.  I heard Tory snort, yet I was pleased when I looked up her head was turned. She was a gentlewoman.

“You don’t have anything I haven’t seen.”

I snorted. “Just the same I don’t think you’ve seen things in these proportions”  I highly doubted it. She was the type of lesbian that went out with skinny girls who looked like dolls and wore make up all the time. On a good day I could pull of makeup.. Most days I went natural, and at times I went through long periods of wearing running shorts and a loos shirt.  I shook my head and kicked off my shoes, then wiggled out of my jeans.

“My last girlfriend was a size 10”

“I haven’t worn a ten since I was 14” I grunted and removed my shirt. I wasn’t going to take off the underwear. I didn’t know her THAT well. I heard her mumbled something. “Hold on I’m going in” I winced as I ran and jumped into the water. It was chill, yet not freezing and yet the entire sensation shocked my system. I felt the familiar pulling, sinking sensation when you initially dive into a pool, then I peddled my way up with my hands and took in a lung full of air when I reached the surface.  “Ha! There!” I shouted at Tory, moving toward her with enough grace that I didn’t make an ass of myself. “What were you saying?”

Her mouth was tight with concentration when she looked at me, and she lifted her hand… instinctively, I winced, yet she continued, pushing a curl from my face. “I said I think you’re beautiful as you are.” She said, pulling her hand away.

Her words sent an unusual flutter into my chest and down into my tummy. “Oh “ I said, failing words.  “Well… thank you” I said, feeling awkward.

Something darkened her eyes that I couldn’t fathom and she leaned toward me, then stopped, midway and reverted to her original position. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” I said. “For what?”

Silence hung in the air and I could see Tory debating over her next words. Then she sighed as if in acceptance and said “I wanted to kiss you. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable…”

“I wouldn’t have objected” I broke in, surprising myself. There was another long, waited silence, and we just stared at each other.  In time, my nervousness  won out and I looked away, glancing up in the sky. There was a fat, southern moon hanging up in the sky. What was I thinking? She wasn’t serious… I mean Tory hadn’t exactly asked me out on a date anyway. We just sort of… ended up spending the day together. It was far to soon. To even get an idea of what kind of person she was, even Iif I only heard glowing things of her around town.

“Kierra?”

“That moon is huge.” I said , following that train of thought, I turned around. Somehow while I was musing she’d gotten really close.

“Huh?” She said. Her stare was hard now, hard and charged… The coming night made it almost too dark to see, and yet it was just enough to make out shapes

“The moon… “  My voice sounded small to my own ears.

“Oh…” She glanced up. “Yeah that’s a harvest moon alright. Did you mean what you said?”

“Huh?”

Her white teeth shown in a grin, and I rusted out into laughing.

“The kiss part.” She said, and either laughter or nervousness caused her voice to squeak.

“Mmhmm…” I was compelled to honesty. “Who wouldn’t?” I added. There was a sloshing of water and then I saw the flash of her eyes just moments before she kissed me. Her lips pressed against mine, just a gentle pressure, not forceful. My lips parted a little and I could taste her breath. She pulled away slightly, and then I felt her lips again, my eyes fluttered shut, her tongue was moist as it slid into my mouth, and I responded, caressing the silken, damp flesh with my own.

I felt her arms snake around my waist, our chests pressed together, mine dwarfing her smaller pair. I moaned in response, and then, embarrassed by the sudden flush of hot arousal that flooded my system and likely would cause the whole creek to boil, I pulled away from the kiss, and tried to catch some air.

Her hands slacked, and I immediately missed her grip. “Too much?” Her voice was still short of breath and I was stupidly pleased with myself.

I wanted to say no. I did, and yet I didn't want to come off as easy either. I licked my lips. She’d tasted so good, like sweet soda. “A little” I said. “Well? Are we gonna swim or not? “

In answer, she turned and dove into the water.

I sighed, still tingling in places I knew would torment me... and followed her.  

Including an Anthology!

It's still in the workings, however, yours truly is soon to have an official publishing!

Here is the summary of the short included in this Halloween themed anthology

Summary: Angela White is your average Texan living in a rural community. In great detail she describes the infamous Halloween day when she took a trip into town and met with fate in the form of a hitchhiker, who happens to be a werewolf hunter.

I hope you all decide to pick up a copy from Ylva Publishing! I'll let you know the official date when I get it!

I think now is the time to clearly internalize and review my life's goals. I've gone round and round trying to analyze the tiny pieces of my life that make up the whole and you know what? To much fear of failure. No seriously, waaayy too much. We wear little tags around our necks assigning names to ourselves the minute we step out of the womb. From pink fuzzy onesies all the way up to cutting off all your hair and dousing yourself in glitter. Well folks I'm covered in rainbows and sparkly glitter...I also have few flowers glued to my head. What does that say? Well... for now, we should say this... I'm everywhere and currently no where I want to exist. So I'll make up my own world darnit! Lets get to typin..

Fuzzy thoughts

So, I managed to get a few pages today. The more I consider shortening the story, the longer it gets! However, it is a journey worth enduring if I meet a light in the end.
-sigh-
At this point I wonder if my writing is worth while? Should I continue on? I should write more I know, but due to complications I can not name here, I am thin... real thin.
Miss tall dark and lovely out there, wherever you are, hurry up and come into my life so I have some inspiration!
lol, joking... maybe...
Meanwhile, do you like the picture? It makes me think of my skewed way of thinking about things, of looking at the world. So many things seem less than trivial, when perhaps they all are?
Oh, I watched Doctor Who today, what an interesting show. It comes on BBCA out here, that is, BBC America, since I am American.

Expression?

I sat down the other day and wrote one whole paragraph. I am glad.. However, I can not continue to write solely on my emotion. If I do that I will never finish.. So I have thought about organizing my day (as best as possible) and seeing what happens. I really don't know if it will work. The problem with my days are that they are primarily ruled by other people and seldom in my hands. It sounds bad...

Just visualize what I want and make it happen...
Just visualize what I want and make it happen...
Just visualize what I want and make it happen...
It WILL happen!
It will happen!
It will happen!

I think...

Still prowling about.

Hello great big.. wide.. substantial audience :D

Its been a little bit, my sincere apologies. It seems of late I have been writing pretty much nothing. If only I could get someone to collaborate with me!
Since it aint gonna happen, I figure I'll just deal. So I've been writing on another installment to my Runaway priestess set. Unfortunately the other day I looked it over and got disgusted. I have not touched it since.
So what HAVE I been doing?
Sitting in the air conditioning, watching the food channel. What can I say? I like food. On that note I made a lovely spinach egg casserole. Once again someone had polished off the last of the milk so I had to come up with something. While it bakes in the oven, I'm sipping on a fruit smoothie.
Anyway, I hope all you folks out there reading this are having a productive day. Chances are I wont be :D

I wish I may...

I can only blame myself for this surprisingly long standoff.
In all this time I wrote.... ONE sentence. Perhaps I am doing too much at once? Perhaps I am worrying too much about the finished product. Type type type... that is what I need to do!
In the meantime my neck is killing me and I could really go for a nice fizzy drink. I'll even drink diet!
So I suppose I shall try and gain my equilibrium. Till then, I shall be seeing you!

Fae ..

I managed to get a new bit written up about fae. I find it rather hard to stay focused on one simple thing. It would be easier if I did!
So I'm leaving in a few hours to go visit a friend, and I wont be around for a few weeks. I hope that I'll still be able to write via pen and paper, just jot down thoughts and ideas. Then maybe I can get some more writing done when I get back. We'll certainly see!

Ah, its like drawing blood!

Truly! I don't know why it is being so hard to forward in the plot. Honestly, weeks, and I've only got ONE page. One..
I really need some motivation, so I'm going to write with my ink and quill.. Sometimes the romanticism of having to dip the pen in ink inspires me to write flowery words. Perhaps I'll insert poetry later.

The pen is not heavy in the hand!

The pen is not
the pen is not
the pen is NOT heavy in the hand!
Or so.. I keep telling myself this as I try to conceive what I wish to put on the page. It is certainly not flowing tonight/this morning. In fact, it is anything but flowing.
-sigh-
Trick tricky, the genre.. I never thought I'd ever write anything contemporary. I prefer fantasy and Mythos.. however, the story found me in a dream and expounded.. I just need to recapture that dream..
Recapture the feeling
Ahh...
Here is hoping!

Erotisicsm

I am one of those girls with little to no experience in the ways of love. My first genuine experience occurred when I was eighteen, with a person that I eventually married. Well, that certainly didn't pan out. Why put this out on the net? Lol my theory is, why not? Hell, this world is so full of mythos and imbalance, why not pop in a little truth every now and then?
So anyway, before I turned 18, you would be amazed at how little I knew my own body! I was told that good girls didn't do things like that, good girls didn't have sex, and certainly didn't want it. However, it is my experience that everyone at some point, has questions, and are at least curious.
Writing erotic is a talent I find, not easily forth coming. I began a few years back, rpg style, and started to incorporate them into various short stories (best left buried, deeply) Its amazing that when I finally started to truly write erotic, it was pure lesbian.
I caution people to listen to the songs of their hearts, do not bury your feelings under thick veils of fear and concern. Perhaps had I had the support I needed as a teenager, I may have discovered my true desires, and saved myself alot of unnecessary grief.
I have not found a textbook on writing erotic. I suppose at first I emulated what I read, then I ventured into exploring my own innermost thoughts and turning them onto the screen. This isn't an easy feat, I had to dig deep, since I had no experience to draw on. I still have a long way to go, but I suppose my best advice I can give is, take pointers wherever you can get them, don't be afraid to tap into your own fantasy, and if you are anything like me and while writing these scenes you've been known to look over your shoulder to see if anyone is looking.. .LET GO. Just let go, and let it flow. If you are tense and concerned, the tone of the writing will seem tense and concerned.
I've read some beautiful scenes, the ones I found most beautiful weren't so flowery, as they were honest and thoughtful, and merely expressed that person's thrill of the moment. Capture the moment, enjoy the ride. We all should.
Some Indians believe that sex is a divine gift, given to us mortals from the heavens. I think I'd prefer to think of it this way, other than just as a way to procreate. Not all of us are breeders. I am certainly not!

Love,
Orhea, the dreamer.

Go go go!

Go go gadget legs!
I wish I could say that, sadly, this isn't the case. -smirk- Nope, I have normal legs that tend to trip over themselves for odd reasons.. Yes, I'm accident prone.
Enough of that, I thought I'd do a little update. Sooooo.. I managed to write a few sentences. Actually, a week or two ago I wrote a chunk of a chapter before finals came and swept my time away. I plan on getting more written tonight.
As far as personally, I decided to kick up my exercise regime over the summer and speed walk for about an hour a day, on top of my yoga. One thing I want to make clear, just because I am multiracial, this does NOT guarantee me instant defense against the sun! I don't know why I keep forgetting that. Perhaps its because my siblings are darker and usually don't burn. -sigh- I had to borrow from my german/scotts ancestry and get burned. Honestly, the day was breezy, sunny, and not at all that hot.. Anyhoo.. I got some lovely spray on sunblock, waterproof in case I sweat. This burning stuff will not happen again! Don't you just hate it? That off, tingling sensation that happens after the burn? It just gets worse and worse untill you fall asleep and wake up to dry skin. I just know I'm going to end up with more freckles...
I got cat called twice during my walk. If you don't know what that is, I'll explain.. You know what its like when you're walking down a street and someone holler's something out of their car or whistles at you? Well, I was whistled at..
I suppose I should be flattered, but really. -sigh-

Alright, think thats all to report, expect to see more up this summer. I am also going to my first pride! Huzzah!

Finals

Writing has been.. limited at best. I've put in a bit here and there. Ah, it kills me that I haven't gotten a solid chapter!
However, after this week I plan on really cranking down.. Yeah, this is finals week, test after test to make sure we actually learned from the classes we paid for. I remind myself that I need to do my absolute best. This is after all, my life, the chance at freedom and happiness.
It has been raining quite a bit. Ah, glorious spring, this is my season!
I don't have much else for today, just thought I'd put in a bit of an update.
Happy May day, well, belated, hee!